I really don’t know why I fall for him. He seems the right guy for me and both feel the same way. I am happy and feel comfortable being with him. But I am not so sure if it will work…
I knew him back in college. He was once my classmate in Algebra Class. I had the chance to get to know him because one Sunday afternoon we rode the same jeepney heading to the city and that’s how I knew that he is also from the northern part of our place. However, such acquaintance of ours then was purely friendship because I knew from the start that he is choosing a religious life. After that semester, I never heard of him not until the October of 2006 when we accidentally saw each other in a certain bookstore in the mall. We exchanged greetings and the whereabouts of some of our classmates.
The advancement of technology helped a lot especially the use of cellular phones. Our communications then became constant. Everyday greetings and words of care slowly developed. We seemed to be very comfortable with each other. But sometimes my apprehensions prevail. The thought that he is a seminarian always reminds me that soon he will leave me for his true calling. But on the other side of my thought, it gives me hope. What if he is not really meant for that vocation? Its been a year that I was driving him out of my life because I don’t want him to get confused of his choices. But it seems that the more I drive him away the more he wants to be near me.
As I remember, it was this summer that he informed me through text that he is not pursuing his vocation. My heart skips a bit but still there were apprehensions. Just recently, I have decided to let myself enjoy this special feeling of mine for him which I had deprived of expressing for a long time. Maybe it is now time for both of us to let this feeling grow. And for whatever awaits us in the future, I believe we are both mature and responsible enough to bear the situations. What really matters is that we give justice to our feelings at the present.
It is really a mystery, why of all the men I’ve known, it was HIM I fall for.
