Looking forward...

i was thrilled this morning when i was about to enter the portal in the campus... i did not expect to see mr. gorgeous... i was a bit conscious because i was not in heels... i walked fast unlike when i wear high heels it is with grace... i thought i will no longer see him for he might have stopped working or was re-assigned to the other campus.... thanks God he is still here!

it just came to my mind and asked where he might live... is he traveling everyday or he just live in the nearby boarding houses? but I guess before i can have the answers to either of this question, a formal introduction between us should take place... i am looking forward to hear his voice... how it sounds? is it melodious to the ear? but it sad to note that there is only a slim chance for that to happen as i do not know i know of someone who happen to know him or is an acquaintance of him... yet, i am thinking of an alternative... however it is a bit daring on my part... it needs courage if i will be the one to initiate a conversation with him... i thought it requires good timing for a very casual conversation to happen and appear all natural without any trace or hint... i know it is easy for me to do it with someone else but to a person i have secretly admired i don't think so.

Anyway, I still have to think about doing it.

Mr Gorgeous

he captured my moment. he look so attractive to me because of his stature - his height, body and mahogany brown hair. his mestizo look had led me to think that he is a foreigner. i had my first encounter with him at the lavatory for employees and of why on earth of all the places in the campus it was there... that was so unlikely... he was about to go out while i was about to go inside that i looked at him and we were struck eyes to eyes for a quick second.

and there it all started. i was intrigued of his whereabouts. there is no day in a week that i could not think of him... in anticipation to meet or even just a glimpse of mr. gorgeous...

early one morning in the campus as i was walking, a familiar stature was walking behind me... i intentionally decelerate my walking pace to allow him to walk ahead of me. And, then i know that we were heading on the same way for the morning attendance, the biometrics machine... i was happy for I discovered three things about him on that very day... first, he works in the campus; second, his full name has an initial of MG; and the third, he is not a foreigner but looks like he is... that knowledge of him leave me to be ecstatic for the rest of the day.

Breathe in...

These past few days i tried to alienate myself with people as i tried to reflect on my life. Deep inside of me is the burning flame of anger with a particular member in my family. As usual , it involves money issues.

Last Monday grandmother reminded me about the unsettled payment for the carpenter. Honestly, i forgot and was not able to prepare the amount due for him (carpenter). Then came the litany of my grandmother - - - as always she will remind us whoever she attacks that her money was all lost because of us and now that we have the money of our own we will not give her... This will irritates me. I don't want to be reminded of those things because i am always thinking of paying back to her. It was just that I forgot and i need some consideration.

Actually, I am on tight budget nowadays. It is just all enough to pay for my monthly boardinghouse rentals, insurance plans, house improvement loan, decent meals and everyday transportation allowance. Leisure such as movie watching and out of town trips are of least priority this time. I would rather buy DVDs and watch at home.

It is sad to note that I have no more extra budget for salon. My hair have many split ends already and is very dull. But I understand as there are some alternatives for hair treatment. I can go with coco milk treatment or aloe vera for that. However the basic needs are more important.

A seminar invitation on November 17 & 18 was received earlier but up to now i still couldn't make up my mind if i will attend due to financial constraints. I have the desire to attend because it is essential to enhance my knowledge in my profession. My officemates are willing to lend me the required amount but I am hesitant because I am not so sure if I can pay for it afterwards.

If my grandmother would only know my current financial situation, I hope she will understand. Anyway, I have no intention of airing this to her for I know that she will not listen to my excuses as she may call it.

I know I will be better after sometime. I just needed a space and the air to breathe in . Life is sometimes like this and that is what makes it worth living. If we know how to maneuver it then we will survive the petty challenges as we live life every day.